I wrote this story as a freshman in high school. My teacher about died laughing, and read it out loud to each of her classes. It is a true story. No facts were altered, even to protect the innocent. If I suddenly turn up missing, it's because my now-adult brother has killed me for posting this.

Just a Little Accident

      Today was the day when childhood dreams could come true. Mom and Dad were finally taking us to Disney World, the place where dreams become a reality. My sister sat back in her seat almost stunned by what was going on around her, and her words voiced my thoughts about the occasion as well as her own, "One of these days it's going to dawn on me that we're going to Disney World, but it hasn't yet."
      Orlando loomed before us. It would only be a few minutes until we landed.

      "Hey!" Startled, I turned around. Jemima, my younger sister, looked me in the face. "Where's Disney World?" she inquired.
      "Probably on the other side of the plane. Just our luck," I answered, somewhat disgusted.
      "Yeah." She frowned and sat back disappointed.

      Neither of us could keep back our excitement for long. Both of us were soon eagerly looking out the window and thinking about the wonderful times to come.
      The plane landed with a little bump, and everybody pushed to get out. I didn't realize it until sometime later, but I left the Tarzan book I had been reading on the plane. I really missed that book during the boring hours of just sitting in the hotel room during our vacation. It was a really interesting book, and I'll probably never get it back. What a bummer.
      My family finally pushed our way out of the plane and into the airport. We headed straight for the bathrooms and split up. Dad left to get the rental car while everyone else, including Joshua, the not yet potty-trained brat, relieved ourselves.
      Our next stop was the baggage pick-up. Here, disaster inescapably caught up with us. Jemima walked over to the other side of the pick-up to check for our bags. Mom and I moved closer to our side and kept an eye out there. However, Joshua stayed put. We tried to move him, but he just didn't want to come. I walked a couple of steps back to the pick-up and waited for our bags while Mom stood beside Josh, eventually giving up on trying to budge him.
      A stench familiar to anyone who has worked with babies filled my nostrils. I wrinkled my nose in disgust and looked behind me at the culprit. My mother sighed, "I just took him a few minutes ago. What's the matter with you?" She bent over and looked into Joshua's little face. I shrugged and turned around, striving to disregard the smell that was invading my olfactory nerve.
      "Oh, no!" my mother shrieked. I turned around quickly. There was nothing in my range of vision to be worried about. I walked over to my horrified mother, and she pointed at Josh, who had a very odd look on his face.
      I gasped. An ugly brown ooze was dripping down his leg and making a lumpy sort of puddle on the floor. Mom was growing frantic and looked almost as funny as Joshua.

      "Oh dear! Why does he have to have an accident in the airport after I just took him potty? Why? Why? Why?" Mom seemed extremely worried and started looking around to see if anyone was watching. "Hurry, quick! Get your sister. One of you has to clean this up!" she managed to gasp out.

      I lost no time in running over to my sister and informing her of what was going on. At first, she didn't seem interested.

      "Guess what?" I panted.
      "What," returned Jemima flatly.
      "Joshua has had an accident on the carpet." That got her attention, but she still wasn't interested.
      "So?" She stared at me. She didn't seem to be in a good mood, and it was hard to hide my smile when I thought about what her attitude would be like after I told her this wonderful bit of news.
      "Josh has had an accident," I repeated. "And you get to clean him up." It was incredibly hard to contain my smile at this point.

      Jemima seemed to be in a state of shock. Then, she gave a very reasonable facsimile of an aggravated teenager: eyes rolled upward, clenched teeth, upturned fists, and a look bad enough to kill.

      "Unh! Unh!" she whined. "Why me, huh? Why me?"
      I just shrugged. Jemima, exceedingly aggravated by this time, stomped off in Mom's direction while I, chuckling, followed at a more stately pace.
      By the time I reached our mother, Jemima was already half carrying and half dragging poor, unfortunate Joshua in the direction of the bathroom. Joshua had made a few more piles during my absence. The scene sickened me, but I still found the entire incident quite humorous. Mom turned to me and told me to stand guard over the main pile and make sure nobody stepped in it. The, she walked into the bathroom to check on my siblings.
      I seriously took my post and watched the disgusting pile dutifully. A man with a briefcase stepped in one of the smaller piles. I didn't bother to tell him because I was told to watch the big pile, not the other one and besides, he was bound to find out sooner or later. Why tell him now?
      When Mom returned, she took my place and unknowingly set Joshua's small suitcase on one of the dried-up piles he'd left behind. I didn't take the trouble to tell her. She told me to fetch some paper towels so we could clean up some of the piles. I wasn't sure exactly where the restroom was, but I eventually figured it out by following the unmistakable trail left by my beloved brother.
      The entire floor appeared to be covered in Joshua's smelly goo. Jemima appeared from inside one of the stalls. Her hair stuck out in all directions and exasperation shone clearly through her wild eyes.

      "Having fun?" I asked with a big, fat grin on my face.

      "What do you think?!" she practically screamed at me.

      I carefully backed away from this deranged creature before me, grabbed my paper towels, and ran out the door.
      My mother was waiting for me when I returned. She grabbed some of the paper towels and started to scrub the carpet. She told me to help, so I did. After a while Mom left to help Jemima clean Joshua's shoes, socks, underwear, and shorts. She eventually returned with a smelly but clean Joshua. The only articles of clothing on him were his shirt and a pair of clean pull-ups. Everything else was wrapped up in a paper towel.
      Finally, Dad arrived to take us to the rental car. On the way, Jemima began to realize something.

      "Hey! You didn't do hardly anything!" she said.
      "I know. Ain't it great!" I grinned.
      "Humph!" she replied and walked off.

      Eventually, after a brief mix-up in the elevator, we reached the rental car. I looked over at my little brother. A very odd look crossed his face...